Beer...obviously! The first thing all these guides offer is a list of what to bring to uni, I mean what a load of *cough*, of course you're going to bring clothes, of course you're going to bring beer!

What are these guides supposed to do? Remind those of us who sometimes wake up in the morning and walk down the road completely naked cause we simply weren’t reminded that public nudity is frowned upon?

Oh yeah and don’t forget to bring one of those highly annoying ‘student crossing’ posters because no student room is complete without one of those, nah blad! If you don’t know what to take then you shouldn’t be going in the first place.

They also offer you advice on how to approach people and how to make friends. But their advice is just...sooo bad. My advice is not to mention anything course related.

The amount of people who came up to me with a stupid smile and an annoyingly polite voice and said, “Hi my names ______, I study the philosophy of Polish chair making, what do you study?” was ridiculous.

If you want to make friends be funny, crack a joke, ask them their preferred methods of killing deer, just don’t talk about your course and what other universities they applied to, in fact just don’t talk about yourself.

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